i'll start with week 13.
i had envisioned that i would magically wake up almost a week and a half ago now and feel like me again. well, that didn't exactly happen. the weekend before the monday when i turned 13 weeks was complete and utter hell. it's almost as if the babies were saying..."mom. you thought you'd feel better. bahahahaha. yeah right. we aren't done with you yet!"
that being said i was glued to the couch, with an occasional tear streaming down my cheek mainly because i THOUGHT i was going to feel so much better...but no such luck.
here's a quick recap of what's fueling me these days:
Food I like: chinese, rice, burritos, quesadillas, quacamole, hummus, string cheese, fage honey yogurt with granola, apples
Foods I can't stand: salads, roasted veggies, pretty much anything unnecessarily healthy.
Sleep: i'm sleeping ok. i just have to pee a lot. i almost always go at least 2-3 times a night. this is quite the change for me because i used to NEVER get up AT ALL. i mean, we are talking 12+ hours of sleep (yes i can sleep that long) and not having to get up once to pee. maybe this means i don't drink enough water...or that i'm just extremely lazy and i hate getting up a night. uh oh for future night time feedings. sorry babies...you might be seeing a lot of your dad :)
Exercise: still have no idea what this is. although long walks are starting to sound better
General Mood: still very sleepy at night. and sickly after almost EVERY meal. it's awful because i'm so hungry and excited to eat...and then i eat and i feel terrible. boo.
Things I have been Surprised by: honestly still my boobs. i cannot even tell you how big they are right now. it's insane. i look in the mirror and they look like porno boobs. the man is ecstatic (even though he hasn't touched them in awhile) and i am just utterly amazed.
anyway, there's nothing quite so spectacular about week 13 except that it's officially the second trimester. i guess that's pretty cool.
let's move on to week 14. um....let's just say that i am wearing a maternity bra today. wtf? oh, and anybody care to guess the size? come on....no? ok, i'll tell you.
if you're saying in your head...wtf? yeah. me too. i know i said that i was surprised by my boobs in week 13...but i'm still surprised in week 14. if this is any indication on how big they could possibly get...i'm frightened. like legit frightened.
here's a convo that the man and i have had several times:
me: do you think it's possible for my boobs to get any bigger?
the man: i hope so.
me: seriously tho. this is completely insane.
the man: no, it's the best you've ever looked.
me:(thinking to myself that's sweet even though i feel like a cow) but do you think the babies will be able to get their tiny mouths around my giant nipples? i just don't see how that's possible? what if they are too big and they suffocate the babies?
the man: (silence and a confused look on his face) i'm sure it will be fine. stop thinking the worst.
anyway...i bought this bra from asos and received it last night. i'm not gonna lie...i actually feel better about myself today. it's pretty, functional, AND fits me right now. i also bought a bra from cake, but haven't tried it yet. i'm hopeful it will be good too.
i also got some other things from asos because my mom convinced me that i would be more comfortable throughout the day if i just started wearing maternity clothes. so, at 14 weeks i'm breaking down and starting. i can totally still fit in my normal clothes...but just feel more comfortable in these.
ok, so i don't even want to type this because i'm so scared to jinx myself...but yesterday i felt almost like my old self. i wouldn't say i was 100%...but maybe like 90%? i didn't get sick after ANY of my meals, and even felt pretty decent after dinner laying in bed last night.
am i on the up and up??
oh dear lord. i hope so.
Food I like: do i dare say it? nothing really grosses me out anymore. sometimes coffee, but other than that i can do most things. i even ate a salad for lunch yesterday and it tasted divine.
Foods I can't stand: i guess i should still put baked chicken breast on here...but maybe that's just because preparing it sounds pretty bad.
Sleep: still sleeping well. having a hard time with the body pillow. sometimes i shove it on the floor at night cause it just feels too big. the man was gone for the first time last night and that means i usually sleep horrifically, but this time i slept like a baby. although i did leave the upstairs light on, the stove light, and the downstairs bathroom light for my trips to the potty.
Exercise: today i had this thought that i would love to go to a spin class. too bad i canceled my equinox membership. whoops.
General Mood: yesterday was a good day. today is 14 weeks 2 days...fingers crossed.
Things I have been Surprised by: still the boobs. and the fact that i LOVE wireless maternity bras. the lack of structure doesn't do wonders for this other set of twins i carry around all day...but at least i'm comfy.
enough about me and what i'm eating, not eating, weight gain (which i'm proud to say is up to 4 lbs! woot) and my boobs...
i finished my first baby book today!
my good friend over at well and little sent us our first care package when we found out we were pregnant. she sent me "Double Time-How I Survived and Mostly Thrived through the First Three Years of Mothering Twins" and also a book for dad's expecting twins. the man has had it on his bedside table since we got it, and the only sections he's read are the parts on pregnancy and sex. fitting.
anyhoo, this book deals a lot with her depression, and then later her bipolar disorder...but also about the crazy and beautiful gift that twins are. she has a lot of good advice about schedules, getting things done, and just the mental state of having twins that i found hilarious and heart wrenching all at the same time.
towards the end of the book, she writes something that really has stuck with me.
this is what people keep saying...so i guess i better start believing it.
but you know what? i'm super excited for both the chaos AND the joy.