{augustus southwood: month 8}


again, there was no formal weigh in this month, but i'm assuming that he was around 17lbs. everyone still comments on how "tall" he is...so i think he's still tall and skinny.


i say the same thing every month. and i'm assuming that i will continue to say the same thing next time. but he's such a good baby.  he doesn't cry much, but when he does, it's because he wants something or needs something. i always think to myself that he got the man's personality because he seems to be pretty darn content in most situations. i'm so happy he takes after his dada!


he's still rocking the sleep stuff. we had quite a few times this month where he woke up in the middle of the night and had a hard time getting back to sleep. it's funny because what's happened several times is that i get up to go into his room, and he stops! the last couple of times i did it, i actually thought to myself..."maybe he'll stop if i get up!" i think it worked once out of the three times i've thought that...but still!

he still struggles with naps. he's gotten easy to put down without much of a peep, but he still only infrequently does better than 30-50 minutes.  i have days where i really struggle with that, but then days where i miss him and am excited to have him back with me after only 30 minutes!


bike ride: gus and mama went on a bike ride to trader joes and he was pretty stoic the whole time. i think he enjoyed it, but there wasn't much laughing or smiling...just a lot of looking :) the man bought me an awesome bike for christmas, and we had a day that cooperated with the weather...and i'm sure there will be many more!

new house: i should really do a whole blog post on this, but we bought a house! gus will have a brand new place to terrorize, and mama will have a new place to fix up. it's all very exciting, and i can't wait for the day that gus plays in the backyard in just a diaper. so cute.

highchair: gus used a big boy high chair for the first time when we went out to dinner for the end of my Whole30.  it was so funny to see him in a seat like that as we are used to the carseat or a bumbo (rarely.) he looked like such a big boy. i couldn't even believe it!

easter: we went to my sisters house for brunch and the man made his signature chocolate french toast. gus didn't have any, but he did have a wonderful day.  we even stopped by the new house and put together a bed! 

crawling: gus started army crawling on March 25th. we were so excited, as you can tell in our voices on this video! he seemed so small to be getting around so well. we are in trouble!

first trip to palm desert: this deserves a post all in itself, but we are so lucky to be able to go to palm desert for an extended period of time and just relax with my parents. it was even better that gus got to be around jake and bo the whole time as well. it was constant entertainment!

cousins bath: this was better in our heads than in reality. we tried to kill two (or three) birds with one bath and it didn't go quite as planned. gus had a bit of a meltdown, and although jake did his best to calm him, we had to pull him out pretty quickly as he just wasn't having it!

how mama feels:

emotionally: this love is something fierce. but i want more. lots more.

physically: i wish i was working out. but i'm not.

breastfeeding: gus was down to 4 feedings a day this month. he was eating 2 solid meals (breakfast and dinner) and sometimes lunch. every month i plan to wean a feeding. 

and here's the best part...some great photos of him throughout this last month!





{augustus southwood: month 7}


no formal weigh in this month...but i'm guessing (from my scale here) that gus was around 16lbs 6 oz...so gained almost a pound in a month! i think this is from all the full fat greek yogurt gus has been eating! i'm trying to pack on the pounds. i have no idea how tall he is now. he's still really long.


a baby dream boat. i can make him laugh...but his dad is really the one that gets him all excited. he laughs harder for the man than anyone else, and i'm sure this is just the beginning of their special bond. he is rolling around everywhere and if i leave him on his mat during tummy time and leave the room to put a load of laundry in or make something to eat for myself, he is bound to be in a completely different spot when i get back.  he is super mellow and rarely fusses, unless he is overtired, hungry or wants out of his car seat. that is something that he picked up around 6 months...he HATES the carseat. i think it's due in part because he can't see me...so having him face forward will help this a lot....even though that's so far away.  i think that it's sort of a funny thing to have him not like, because most babies fall asleep in the car...but instead gus screams. i feel bad and sometimes if i put my hand back there and rub the top of his hand, he will calm down and just sit and look out the window. shhhh...don't tell anyone i'm only driving with one hand though :)


our little guy is such an amazing sleeper now that we did the sleep training. he cut out every night feed except for his 3:30-4am one. since he's on the smaller side, i had no problem getting up and feeding him. he would eat, then immediately go back to bed. towards the end of this month, i started doing a dream feed to see if i could feed him before i went to bed, and therefore have him go longer in the morning. it worked!!! the first night i did it, he went until 6:30 am! he then regressed a couple nights, but overall was doing such a good job. i continued this for about a week and a half...until one night i fell asleep right after he did and couldn't bring myself to get up and pull him out of bed and feed him. so i just went with it and decided to see what happens. sure enough, the little guy slept til 6:15 ish...fed then and went back to sleep until 7:30. i haven't dream fed since.

naps our still a challenge with gus, but he's had a few morning naps that have lasted between 1 hour and 15 minutes, and pushing 2 hours! they are still few and far between (he's had maybe 3-5 of them) but i am praying that he starts to figure out daytime sleep and do just as well as he does at night. i think he will get there!


oregon beach day:  we went down to the beach with Mimi, Auntie Lizzie, and cousins jake and bo. we decided it would be fun to all ride in one car, so we put in the third row seats in my car and all piled in! it was such a fun day. the weather was absolutely gorgeous and there was little to no wind. rare for the oregon coast and VERY rare for a day in February. i brought my selfie stick and took a few good snaps. 

valentine's day: gus spent his first valentines day with his parents. i can't even remember what we did, but i know that it was special and family oriented.  he dressed up for the occasion!

swim lessons: gus had his first swim lesson on February 22nd. he was 6 months and a little over a week old.  i was NOT prepared for him to go completely under the water, so when the lady said to put him under i almost had a heart attack.  when he went under, he swallowed quite a bit of water, but handled it ok. he was definitely not happy about it, but basically whined the whole time...which is not like him!  i was nervous that he was going to HATE swimming based on the first time, but he has gotten to the point where he loves it!

golf: my mom, dad and the man were playing golf one sunday and instead of sitting at home waiting for them with gus, we decided to join in! it was president's day weekend, so it was pretty quiet. we walked most of the course with them, and gus even got to ride in the cart! he was amazing the whole time, and eventually just passed out from all the fresh air.

how mama feels:

emotionally: i think i need to get used to the fact that the love is so intense, it makes you a tad crazy! i'm trying to not worry about things and just live and love, but it's hard when i feel like it could all be taken away in the blink of an eye. but my mind is set to think positive thoughts!

physically: i'm getting to the point where i am starting to feel bad about not working out more. i'm still a really bad runner, so that makes it so challenging to get out. i know it would get easier, but i just don't have the motivation! the other issue i've started to think about is getting pregnant again and being so out of shape! that just means that it will be even harder to get back into shape once i'm done with babies. part of me cares, and part of me doesn't. i just want these babies!

breastfeeding: i feel like it's suddenly a countdown to when we are done.  we definitely want to get pregnant again soon, and it's hard when i'm still nursing at least 6 times a day. my sister has given me the advice to drop 1 feeding per month, and be down to 2 feedings a day at his 10 month birthday. hopefully this means i will get my period back by that time so we can get number 2 cooking! but it's bittersweet because i love sitting down with gus and having him snuggle up on me....with no distractions. i used to make sure my phone was around all the time while nursing, but now i just sit and soak it up, staring at his beautiful little face. i love this kid.  

{augustus southwood: month 6}


since gus had a doctor visit this month, his official weigh in was 15lbs 7 oz.  i was thoroughly disappointed because he was on track to be 16lbs (which was my goal) and he completely went of course a few weeks before his half year birthday.  this dropped him into the 12th percentile for weight! SKINNIE MINNIE. his height came in at 27.7 inches...which is the 89th percentile. doc isn't worried. he just said he's getting his growth in height not in weight...which is totally fine! i told myself again this month that i wouldn't compare to other babies. but i still do :/


after we got the whole sleep training thing down...he was a dream per usual. honestly, i say the same thing every month...but he really is a super easy going baby. i'm glad he takes after his dad in several ways. he is starting to want to move a lot more, and reaching for toys/books/remotes are some of his favorite past times.


i left off last month with the fact that we tried to sleep train him at around 4.5 months...but neither gus nor i was ready. after weeks of terrible sleep for me (gus was in our bed almost every night. it's the only way i could get ANY sleep) i finally reached my breaking point. we were leaving for Hawaii (3 hour) time change in mid January, but i honestly couldn't wait til after we got back. i HAD to do it before. 

so, here's how round 2 went:

(January 9th) Night 1:  gus was in his crib at 6:30. he cried til 8:20, slept til 12:45, ate, cried for 10 minutes, slept til 4:30, cried for 20 minutes and we didn't go in, slept til 5:30 where he woke up and babbled for 20 minutes and fell asleep and then woke up for good at 6:40.  

Night 2: gus was in his crib at 6:50, went in to soothe after 5, 10, was going to go in again at 12 minutes, but self soothed and was asleep at 7:23!

Night 3: 25 minutes of crying

Night 4: 40 minutes of crying, went in at 15 minutes and then at 20

Night 5: 38 minutes of crying.  Slept THRU the night for the first time!!!! Woke up at 6:40, nursed and went back down til 7:30.

I didn't document past the first 5 nights, but I know that when we were in Hawaii he did amazing foe having a 3 hour shift in his schedule. he stayed up much later, and woke up 1-2x a night and then would sleep til at least 8 in the morning. he was sleeping in a pack and play from the hotel, and put himself to sleep so well. the man and i were both VERY proud, and soooo happy we did the sleep training before left. then we ALL could enjoy our vacation.


teeth: gus got his bottom right tooth somewhere right around his 5.5 month birthday. i didn't write it down because it felt like it was coming for so long...i didn't know where to count it. but since it cut through and was visible this month...we will count it as a 6 month milestone!

grabbed toes: on his 5 month birthday, he grabbed his toes for the first time! i

foot in mouth: right after we got back from hawaii, gus stuck his foot in his mouth for the first time!  it's so funny because it seems like he doesn't have any idea that they are attached to his body. his sharp little teeth bite them and i assume one day he will bite too hard and make himself cry. he's such a little biter.

food: gus tried food for the first time on January 28th!  i gave him a stick of broccoli to eat, and he was very interested in it until a piece came out and i flew towards him to pull out the chunk! i hope i didn't scare him, because now the only thing he likes to eat are purees.  i had started him on baby led weaning, but he wasn't getting ANYTHING in his mouth and i don't want to breastfeed forever (we'd like another bambino sooner than later!) anyway, i decided to try a mix of BLW and purees, and since the kid got a taste of the purees, he hasn't looked back! he loves ALL purees, applesauce, and greek yogurt! he is a great eater and knew how to swallow and eat off a spoon right away. 

along with the food he tried, he also mastered the sippy cup! i gave it to him full of breastmilk, and he knew exactly what to do and how to drink it.  i think i gave birth to a genius.  

super bowl: gus spent his first super bowl rooting for the best team in the NFL...and they pulled off a win! he slept through a majority of it, but his mama was happy and he got to see Aunt Mindy and meet Uncle Josh for the first time! he loved him.


how mama feels:

emotionally:  so, i love this kid more than anyone will ever be able to know. well, i guess if you are a mom...then you know. and for some reason, my mortality, my husband's mortality and even gus'...can all be a bit overwhelming at times. i used to struggle with hypochondriac symptoms (it's not that serious...something my mom and i diagnosed together :) but for a long time haven't been bothered by them. now, it's all suddenly coming back. i think it's because there is so much more to lose than there ever was before. i can't imagine leaving gus without a parent, and so it makes me all the more stressed out to stay healthy (very contradicting, i know.) anyway, this mom stuff is hard. it's so great. but it's so hard.

physically: my body is becoming less sore. i still don't have a desire to run, but i'm not going to push it. yoga has been sounding really good to me, so maybe i'll see if i can start at least a home version. i still have that PiYo that i actually liked, so maybe i'll start that up again.

breastfeeding: same as last month. easy peasy.

here are some pics from gus' 6th month of life!

{aussie vacation: melbourne}

when we arrived in melbourne, we were all screwed up on time, but not nearly to the extent that we were last time we were there. i'm sure being 5 weeks pregnant and traveling via coach didn't help us last time either, but i did feel much better this time AND we were caring for an infant!

we stayed at the sheraton in melbourne and it was beautiful. we had a huge room, set up with a travel crib, a huge bathroom with a soaking tub, and a cute little cafe/coffee house in the lobby. we were on little collins street in the CBD, so we could walk to almost anything downtown and it was super convenient. we ended up being really close to this mall where i found a shop called SEED that i loved for both mom and baby! 

the first day we went and met up with our good friends ben and nat who also have a baby EXACTLY 6 months older than Gus. his name is harvey and we know that he and gus are going to be great friends, even though they are worlds apart!  we were all so excited to see each other, we sat up til almost 10 pm talking and drinking wine while the little slept. it was such a nice catch up. 

this was the best we could do at getting a shot of the moms and the babes. the first meeting went pretty well!

the next day our lack of sleep finally caught up with us, so we took it easy and decided to sleep in a bit.  

the boys seemed more jet lagged than i was so i watched them rest for awhile and reflected on how lucky i was. 

after our nap, we met up with the man's auntie and decided to try some dim sum.  i had never had it before and apparently it's pretty legit in australia (especially melbourne) so we took gus to his first chinese restaurant and enjoyed the treats...and a bottle of wine or two :)

that night we met up with a bunch of the man's friends at a really cute bar somewhere outside of the city, and gus slept the ENTIRE 5+ hours we were there. we didn't even take him out of his car seat until the VERY en when he woke up and needed to eat! none of his friends got to hold him or anything....but i just couldn't wake a sleeping baby!  i also didn't take any pictures, so i have nothing to document that night with. but it was super fun.

the last day we walked around the city and then met up with ben and nat for lunch. we didn't really shop much, but the weather was beautiful so we covered a lot of ground and took gus' 3 month photo shot! this was also gus' first time on a tram! he did great.

after walking around in the city, we headed out to st. kilda so the man could show his son where he used to play footy. it was a super proud moment for both, and a proud mama taking photos. we stopped on the beach afterwards and took an obligatory beach shot.

that evening we had dinner with ben, nat and harvey again at the "Yacht Club." it's this divey old club on the water where the average age is probably 50 and the chairs and tables look like they are just about as old. it's on a beautiful stretch of beach and hasn't changed nearly at all since it was built. which is actually part of the beauty about it too. they serve a set menu and it's basic and amazing. plus there is cheap wine and beer and a deck that looks onto the amazing ocean. 

this was my favorite night we had in melbourne. these guys used to get into a lot of trouble together, and now look. they are such proud papas.  

i just love hanging out with this family and it makes me sad to think that they are so far away...but getting to see them will always be such a treat!

next up, the gold coast to meet nana and papa!!!


{baby love}

since i was a little girl, i have always LOVED babies. i babysat and nannied from the age of about 13 through college. i always pictured myself as a mom, and assumed that i would love it, but never knew it would be like THIS.

every day that i get to spend with gus, makes me feel more confident and comfortable as a mother.  it just seems to get better and more enjoyable each day. when typing that out, it sounds bad...like i haven't enjoyed EVERY DAY already...it's just that at the beginning i was so worried about something (or everything) that i didn't really get to enjoy each day to the fullest.  breastfeeding, his weight, acid reflux, pooping, temperature, sleeping too long, sleeping too short, not hitting milestones...and a slew of other things that i was constantly going over in my head. let's be honest...if he doesn't sit by the "time he's supposed to" i will still worry (because that's what i do)...but i've gotten to the point that i know it WILL happen.  

i know that i may not be traditional in the way that i mother my son, but i feel like each mom possesses the innate ability to care for their child in the way that is best for them.  and when i say them, i mean the way that is best for both the mother and the child. i love him so much it hurts. but i also love my husband and realize that the only reason i have my son is because he was a gift that came from the love that we have.  i was reminded of how much i enjoy my adult friendships and time with my man when we all celebrated for my 34th birthday a few weeks ago. we had been sleep training (a post to come) that week and when i was finally able to go out with adults and have dinner, drinks and good laughs...i was refreshed and rejuvenated from the night and i woke up the next day looking forward to the adventures that lay in front of gus and i even more!  

it sounds cheesey, but it's like my whole world has become more alive since having him. the joys of my "old" life and the new joys that being a mom has created! 

and now that he's approaching his 6 month birthday...i want another one.  there isn't a night that goes by that i don't look on the monitor and see him curled up on one side of the crib, and the empty space next to him reminds me of our son that lives up in heaven.  and i get angry. and sad.  when i first had gus, i thought i would have been an awful twin mom and maybe things worked out the way they did because i couldn't have handled it...but thats wrong.  we would have rocked twin parenting.  we were made for it.  

but i can't change what happened, so i figure we just need to have more. lots more.  i'd do it all again 1,000 times over for another gus.  

my sister texted me this one of my early days with gus....

being a mom is not for the faint of heart.

she was right.  it's not.  i know my heart started working to get prepped on day 1 of my pregnancy, and then week 18, week 21 and every day until week 38 and 1 when we finally met our baby boy.  

and now my heart is strong, and ready to continue mothering my sweet baby boy and hopefully lots more to come!

{augustus southwood: month 5}


-he weighed about 14lbs 14 ounces around his 5 month birthday. since this is not an official weigh in at the doctors office, i weighed him on our scale...but depending on what time of day it is, he can fluctuate a few ounces. i have no idea how long he is...but people always comment on his length so i'm assuming he's still in a high percentage.


-gus is interacting and reacting to us so much more these days. he likes to laugh, and the person that can make him laugh the most is his dad. he absolutely adores to watch dad make faces and giggles out loud. it might be the most precious sound that we've ever heard.  he has started to fuss in the carseat, and sometimes it takes him a few minutes in the car to really settle down and look out the window and relax. when he's really mad, he arches his back and you know that he doesn't want to be sitting in whatever he's in...either the carseat or the stroller. 


ok, this is where things really get interesting. we tried to sleep train him at right around 4 months and we made it 3 nights where there was so much crying i couldn't handle it. i think the first night he cried for 2.5 hours, and then 1.5 and about the same the last night before i caved. honestly, it was probably more me not being read than him...but sitting and listening to him cry was terrible. part of it was because i was prepared for 30-40 minutes of crying...but not hours. we decided to wait a few weeks and get through the holidays until we tried again.

we spent about 10 days in sunriver where things got really bad. he literally would not sleep anywhere except in my arms. my sister would put her kids to bed, and i would try, he'd make it 5 minutes and then scream, we'd go in and calm him and try again...this kept happening until i would just cave and go in the bedroom and pull him into our bed where he would sleep. like i said, we did this for about 10 days and i was waking up feeling like a zombie because not only was he in our bed, but he would want to nurse ALL the time. i basically was attached to him all night via my nipple. no good.

we knew that we were going to hawaii on January 16th, a week after we got back from sunriver...and all the books of course said to not start sleep training before you leave for a vacation..especially if it's in a different time zone, but i could not wait!!!!! so, i'll leave the results for next months post because most of the training was done in his 6th month of life.

to say the least, sleep has been a challenge lately...but i'm realizing that is parenthood.


rolling: he rolled front to back for the first time on December 27th, and then really perfected it one of the last days we were in Sunriver when he was hanging out doing tummy time in just a diaper. my mom commented that he could probably roll easier without clothes on...and he did seem to be more active. now he loves to flip around!

-babywearing: gus officially sits out in the ergo baby. he likes to look around and suck on the edge of the carrier while we go places, and in sunriver it was really fun to put on his babiators and go for walks in the snow.

how mama feels:

-emotionally: much better about everything. i rarely have a freak out moment...except for this month when i was expecting him to be over 15lbs at his 5 month birthday and he wasn't quite there. then i started worrying about my milk supply. silly, i know.

-physically: so, i have been about 10-11 lbs over my pre baby weight and it hasn't really felt like it will EVER come off. but when i got home from sunriver, i was down about 3 more lbs! i am starting to fit in my old clothes and it feels great. my mom and sister got apple watches, so i got their old fitbit and i swear trying to get 10k steps a day really becomes a challenge...and one that i want to achieve. i walked a lot in sunriver and i'm sure that did something to my body.   

-breastfeeding: aside from the aforementioned breastfeeding supply issue, still doing great! 

and here are some photos from our 5th month with sweet little gus!